Educate
New Homeschooling Dads
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The July 2010 issue of Parents
As I read the article, I found myself smiling at the new tug-of-war dads are feeling. I smile because moms have been feeling this pull for years. And for the homeschooling mom, we’ve chosen (or felt impressed) to add even more pressure to the mix. But instead of talking about how challenging it can be to parent, homeschool and keep a continual sense of peace, joy and calm in the midst of this sometimes crazy juggling act, I want to instead share a few of the statistics that Scott included in his article and consider what they could mean to the future of homeschooling. Just look at these numbers:
- “Fathers are now the primary caregiver for about one out of every four preschool-age children.” (U.S. Census Bureau)
- “Today, 28% of all American wives between 30 and 44 have more education than their husbands, while only 19-percent of husbands in that group have more education than their wives. (The remaining 53-percent have the same level of education as each other.)”
- “The U.S. Dept. of Education found that women received 57% of all bachelor’s degrees and 61% of all master’s degrees. They receive 51% of all Ph.D.’s.”
- “From 2008-2009, the unemployment rate increased 83% among men age 25 and over, compared with 57% among women age 25 and over.”
- “Twenty-percent of American men ages 25-54 didn’t have a job as of December 2009.”
- “As of February 2010, the top two professions among the unemployed in the U.S. were construction and manufacturing.”
What do these statistics mean to homeschooling families?
Well, with the rise of homeschooling’s popularity, I can’t help but think that we will see an increase in the number of dads who take on the role of primary homeschooling parent. As women receive more education and men endure a downturn in industries that are held primarily by them, we will most likely see more men coming home and more women pursuing more profitable career paths, all in an effort to support and care for their families.
In most of the homeschooling families I know, the moms work as least part time. In fact, according to the Homeschool Progress Report 2009, 19.4% of homeschool moms (almost 1 in 5) work at least part time. This number may very well increase in the face of a shrinking job market.
When the time comes, I hope that as a community we will welcome these newcomers with the same encouragement we received as newbies. It will be a chance for us to draw from their strengths and offer a smile, a pat on the back or even a cup of coffee when the situation arises. (Think about it, who wouldn’t love to have a construction-savvy dad teach woodworking techniques in co-op? I know several moms—myself included—who would be elbowing our way to the front of the class!)
We’re in this together, homeschoolers. Let’s do all we can to make sure we succeed the same way… together!
Are you a homeschooling dad? Please comment on your experience.
Does More Money Produce Better Academic Scores?
0If you’re like most Americans, you’ve bought into the idea that education must be complicated and expensive to be worthwhile. It must be handled by highly educated, well-trained, pragmatic individuals with lots of mass produced educational tools at their disposal. Well, the truth may surprise you.
Recent findings in the Homeschool Progress Report 2009 found that education has little to do with the amount of money spent. When compared with the average amount spend per child in our public schools, homeschool families are doing an admirable job. We are, in fact, a frugal bunch. Most of us have traded the financial comfort of a two income family in order to have at least one parent (a.k.a. educator) at home, at least part of the time. Some of us are armed with little more than pen, paper, a library card and our creativity to develop our children’s curriculum. And we like it that way! Just take a look at what the statistics say… they speak for themselves.
How Many Hours Does Homeschooling Take?
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Today, I continue my interview with homeschool author and conference speaker Donna Conner. I’m so grateful to have had Donna share her experience and wisdom with me during the last few weeks. If you missed the first three parts, make sure to check them out:
- Is Homeschooling a Good Choice for Families with Only One Child?
- Socialization and Homeschooling an Only Child
- Challenges and Solutions for Homeschooling an Only Child
Homeschool Passion: In your book, Homeschooling Only One
First off, the guidelines are just that—guidelines. They are not set in stone. They are an idea, something to start with, so as not to start with expectations of an 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. schedule. Each child will be different and might not be ready for as many hours as their age may indicate. Or they may need/want a bit more to explore the next chapter or the next problem. We do not want to ever squelch an interest or that love of learning. These guidelines will be/should be more of a jumping-off point. It should become instinctual for the parents. It’s not like we pull out a stopwatch and click when we begin to teach for the day, and then stop it after seven or eight hours. In fact, I hope no one does that!
Teaching your child should be an “all day” affair. They are learning all the time, no matter what a clock says. The hours I suggest won’t necessarily be consecutive. In fact, it might be better if they weren’t. However, you definitely want to break up the schooling over the course of the day, especially when they are younger. Remember, you are your child’s expert, and no one loves them and wants the best for them like you do. Your homeschool can look totally unique and different from that of other families.
That said, these are the guidelines I wrote in my book:
Ages General Idea of Homeschooling Hours
4-5 No more than 1 hour a day; 15 min. at a time, alt. fine motor skill & gross motor skill activities.
6-7 1 – 2 hours a day total; 15 – 20 min. same alternation as above.
8-10 2 to 3 hours a day total; 20 min at a time, same alternation as above.
11-13 3 to 4 hours a day total; 20-30 min at a time, same alternation as above.
14-18+ 4+ hours a day total; 30+ min at a time, same alternation as above if needed.
Again, these hours are only guidelines—but if you are concerned that it’s “not enough,” remember each child is different. You will probably have to adjust for your special, unique child. Perhaps fewer hours/minutes a day, or you may need to give the child what he wants and give him more time in the classes he’s devouring in delight. And it might not be a complete schedule change for every day, for the whole year. It could be a half hour less today and an hour more tomorrow, vice versa, or it might be fairly consistent, except for a few minutes here and there.
Also, having only one student takes nothing like the time that an institutional setting with 30+ children takes. Schools don’t have enough time to spend on each and every student. Teachers (most if not all) love teaching and love children. They do the very best they can. But the logistics just aren’t there for the teacher to spend more than a very few minutes of one-on-one time with each of their students.
Ages 4-7: They don’t need a whole lot of time. Each family does it differently, but you can do the first 15 min. in the morning, then 15 min. before/after or even during lunch. Another 15 min. in the afternoon and possibly that last 15 min. after dinner. In the in-between time, real life is happening—errands, chores, fixing meals, and such. Each class or subject, should be short and fun. When you finish the minutes you’ve allotted for each class, then that class/subject/book is closed until the next day. You do not have to finish every problem on a page. You really ought to try using a timer and shutting the book when it goes off.
Be creative in how you cover the subjects you want to teach. For example, you can talk about geography using educational placemats during meals. in the last couple of years of this age group, I gave my son control of when he would do which class. My only request was that he did math first or second, when he was fresher and (hopefully) less likely to dawdle in it.
Ages 8-10: Children are still in early elementary. The hours they need depend on the child, but the “school day” should be moving to a bit more time on each subject, preparing for more in-depth study that they will be getting as they move onwards towards high school material. Allowing your child to have some control in their schooling is a good step, if you haven’t already done that in the last age group. Deciding when they will do what class gives them ownership and something within their power for their own education. If they feel they don’t have any power, it’s possible that they feel out of control and have little interest in doing school. Even knowing how important the classes really are, we don’t want to push too hard and have their day too regimented. Proceeding gently yet with enough authority is helpful here. They haven’t quite proclaimed their independence yet. When I was educating my son at 10 years of age, I thought he’d never be independent of me. He needed me to sit right beside him. Didn’t need much input, but I couldn’t read or cross stitch—only sit. That’s what he needed, so that’s what I did.
Ages 11-13: This group is equivalent to middle school. A little more responsibility is given to this group. At this point, the work requires a bit more in-depth work or research. So although you are “doing” school with him for 3 or 4 hours in the day, he may see the need to work on some “homework” sometime before or after his “school day.” This is not for every class, of course, but you are introducing the idea that some work might need more time other than those 3-4 hours. (The extra work shouldn’t take more than an hour or an hour-and-a-half. This is, after all, introducing larger projects.)
You may find, sometime in this age group, your child may want to strike out on his own and take more control of his education. My son, Mike, at the age of 12, decided/discovered that he could be done with school by lunchtime, if he got up and got to his work, instead of waiting for slow-moving-in-the-morning mom. In a short 2 years, he went from needing my presence at every turn to needing very little input from me. It will happen to you at some juncture of your homeschooling journey. Be encouraged!
Ages 14-18: These are the years that a child does high school work in preparation for college or a job, hence more hours have been slowly integrated into his day (probably from the year he turns 12 or 13). Essays and research papers will probably need to be worked on during after-school hours. The 4+ hours are really more in the hands of your high schooler than they are in yours. You will, most likely, be giving assignments and correcting work. However, different styles of homeschooling may mean less “schoolishness” and the child might be working with you to divide the work he needs to do (e.g. how many pages need to be read in a day). Both of you can create a schedule of assignments for each day or each week, so that he has input and you know that there is a certain amount of accountability. They might possibly be correcting their own work. Remember, your homeschool is as unique as is your child. No two are going to look exactly alike.
Interview with Homeschool Author and Speaker Donna Conner, Part 3
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This week we continue our interview with homeschooling author of Homeschooling Only One and conference speaker Donna Conner. She continues to share her wisdom of homeschooling an only child. This week’s interview covers the challenges of homeschooling an only child and gives practical advice for overcoming these challenges. Even if you are homeschooling multiple children, you’ll find Donna’s wisdom enlightening. And, if you have missed part 1 or 2 of this series, be sure to check them out. God bless!
Homeschool Passion: What are the biggest challenges for parents homeschooling only one child, and how can they overcome these challenges?
Donna Conner: First, parents of an only have to deal with being their child’s only playmate at times. They have to balance what needs to get done (chores, errands, etc.) with their child always being there.
I encourage the use of naptime (when the child is young) and quiet time (when they are too old for naps). During these times, I required my son to be on his bed, nowhere else in his room. He could play quietly or look at/read books, but he had to do this for an hour. If he got too loud, his hour would begin again. There were a couple of times where he ended up with 2 or 3 hour naps/quiet time. Most of the time he would fall asleep, or be quiet enough for me to get an hour break. I was fortunate that he took naps until he was 7 years old; after that, he might fall asleep or not. During those quiet times, I could do several different things: take a nap myself, if needed; read a book for relaxation; do chores, even watch a little TV or a movie.
There were also times, not called nap or quiet time, when I was on sensory overload from the constant chatter. I even taught that term to my son! I would send him to his room, not as a punishment, but so I had a breather. He understood that I just needed some time away, and he got to play. (Now there were times I sent him to his room as a discipline measure, but he knew there was a difference.)
Sometimes we have to be their playmate, but our job is not to be their playmate all the time, nor to be their best friend, or to keep them entertained. We don’t put off other duties we may have, to be on the floor playing the whole day. There needs to be balance. And sure, when you only have one, it’s easy to let the time go and just enjoy them. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless it’s out of balance with real life.
As a mom, I needed to get dinner together, vacuum & dust the house, clean the bathroom, take care of my husband, run errands as needed, AND take care of our precocious preschooler/early elementary-aged child. You can’t do it all, especially when they are in your care (for the most part) for 24/7. I knew what my husband required and needed of me, so we jointly decided which things could go by the wayside for a time. The way to keep some balance while doing your chores is to alternate—play a game, do a chore; have free play in his room, do a chore; teach a chore, do a chore, etc. “I’m bored” was a key phrase that signified to me that it was time to assign a chore according to his age.
aving a Moms’ Night Out with friends is a good way to give you distance. Getting some adult female conversation does wonders for a mom! Doing the groceries by yourself in the evening while allowing dad to enjoy his kids on his own is another way to give yourself a break. (It’s a bonus that dad and kids get to play and interact with each other without mom jumping in.) This helps to give you balance, also!
Second, parents must learn to not focus on every little jot and tittle that the child does “wrong,” and for that matter, anything that the child does “right.”
This is a very easy thing to do. For example, instead of correcting them for one grammar mistake in a paper, we show them every single error, plus add content criticism. We need to focus on one thing at a time, maybe all commas and semicolons, or something like that, but not every misspelling, grammar mistake and content problem. Being selective in what you focus on will keep your child from becoming overwhelmed. You might spend a week on grammar. The next week on misspellings, then content another week.
Another exercise is to allow a child to create stories separate from school, or for school but without all the corrections. This allows them to be creative. Having this as a first draft and then polishing the paper over several days is a great way of doing it. It’s also good to allow them to be just creative. If they use inventive spelling, or forego grammar rules, do not worry. Avoid doing any corrections. Just praise them for the story line. Granted, you don’t want to do this with everything they write, but they need some freedom just to create.
If you are homeschooling from the beginning and plan to do it for the rest of their educational journey, or just through middle school, or just for this year, there is time. Feeling pressure with what needs to be done can be very scary and overwhelming. Add in the knowledge that “their educational future” is totally in your hands, and wow… It’s very easy to focus on every jot and tittle to the detriment of your child. Don’t despair of teaching them “everything.” It’s not possible, anyhow. You are responsible to teach them the basics, keep their love of learning intact, and teach them how to research so they can teach themselves at any point in their lives. Beyond that, relax, especially if you are in the younger years. There is time, and you’ll do fine.
Finally, don’t boast about or over-inflate your child’s ego… not to others or in front of your child. Being proud of your child is not a bad thing—if kept in balance. You don’t want the other mothers to scatter at your approach because you’ve become known for overly-bragging about your child. If you give the child high praise for being gifted or just getting his work done completely correct, he can develop an unhealthy concept of himself. You don’t want to train your child to brag about himself to his friends (whether at church or at co-op), lording his accomplishments over them, or be impertinent to an adult by correcting strangers or acquaintances.
My son somehow taught himself to read long before we started kindergarten, and he continues to do well in language arts. When he was younger, I would commend him, but at the same time (in a light and happy tone), remind him that God gives everyone different gifts. Some are good in math; others are great with language arts; still others are wonderful athletes, or artists, etc. The goal is to teach children that they are specially gifted, but not to put themselves above others. (Now, I didn’t repeat this litany each and every time I praised him! That would be too much for a child to handle, and they would most likely start to think they weren’t special at all.) The point is everyone is special. Everyone has unique gifts, and is seen as an individual by God! We need to rejoice in our individuality, but we don’t want to overdo it to the point of inflating egos (theirs or ours).
Next time, Donna will share her advice for scheduling homeschooling activities—how long and what type.
Previous posts in this series:
Photo: boy, with homework by wwworks
Socialization and Homeschooling an Only Child
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Donna Conner, author of the book Homeschooling Only One
Homeschool Passion: Donna, the socialization question is a big one for homeschooling in general, but I’m sure it’s amplified when homeschooling only one child. How would you respond to the ever-present question, “What about socialization?”
Donna Conner: Socialization is just as large a “bug-a-boo” to those with one child as it is with other homeschooling families—almost a non-issue. We just have to be a bit more proactive in giving our child opportunities to interact with other children. They are truly “socialized” already, just by their close proximity with their parent(s) in all the normal everyday activities and places that have to be attended to. There are plenty of opportunities to come into contact with people of all different types (and ages) at church, in the grocery store, at the doctor’s appointment, at the bank, at the post office, on walks in the neighborhood or in the local park’s playground. How we have to be proactive is to provide play dates and opportunities to be with, to play with, to interact with, and to socialize with children of all ages.
Large families have built-in peer groups, where children learn to work and play with other children. If a parent of an only works with their child, learning to share has already been taught (almost to a fault, at least in my own experience). But through practice, or actual interaction with others (children their age, younger or older), they must learn to walk out this skill. That’s where the fine tuning of such skills requires the parent to be proactive and provide the opportunities. This can be within a homeschool group, a co-op class, outside classes (museum, art, etc.) and play dates. It still isn’t that big of a deal, but as parents of an only, you have to keep your eyes open and facilitate what your child needs.
Next time, Donna will share the biggest challenges with homeschooling and only and give valuable tips for how to overcome them. Be sure to check back.
Photo: boy, with homework by wwworks
Is Homeschooling a Good Choice for Families with Only One Child?
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At Homeschool Passion, we’re dedicated to learning from those who have gone before us, hearing from those precious home educators who have paved the way, learned to sidestep the potholes, overcome the naysayers and brought homeschooling into mainstream circles. They’ve done it: They’ve successfully raised and educated their children. If they are willing to share their wisdom, then we should be willing to listen.
That’s why I’m so excited to share the following interview with Donna Conner, a veteran homeschooling mom, convention speaker and author of the book, Homeschooling Only One
Homeschool Passion: When people think of the stereotypical homeschooling family, they often think of large families with multiple children. Why is homeschooling still a good choice for families of only one child?
Donna Conner: Of course the basic reasons for homeschooling cross all barriers. However, with “only” one student, there are multiple things that make it a very good fit:
- It is easier to tailor-make the child’s educational course of study each year (not having to consider any other child’s learning style, interests or special needs).
- For some families, there may be “extra” monies that can be budgeted for educational classes, materials or pursuits that might not be available to all the children of a large family. I know of some larger homeschooling families that must rotate special classes among the children due to costs.
- The only child is usually along for all errands and appointments, since there is 9usually) no one at home to watch them (like older siblings). They are introduced to a lot of different social situations. They learn how to converse with both adults and children of all ages (older, the same age, or younger) easily in these “out and about” trips.
- With only one student, it can be easier to find out your child’s special characteristics, like his learning style.
- It’s easier to move on to the next year’s materials when they are ready, no matter which part of the year it happens to be. Or if needed, they can slow down and take a year-and-a-half (or longer) to learn a subject. The beauty of homeschooling is being able to teach towards mastery of a subject, not just “teaching to the test.”
HP: What are the benefits of homeschooling only one child?
DC: Less time is needed for curricula searching, since there is only one. One-on-one interaction with a child is the best tutorial method, so the child is receiving the best kind of teaching. With only one, you really get to know that child. You can focus attention on both their needs and their accomplishments, while keeping a balance in how you teach the child about each.
Mom can also be more focused with the one in their schoolwork. So when the day is done for that child, mom is done with teaching. She can move on to her agenda as a wife and mother. When you add these benefits to the overall homeschooling benefits, it’s a win-win experience.
Be sure to check back next time as Donna shares her thoughts on socialization and homeschooling an “Only.” And be sure to check out Donna’s website at www.donnac.com.
Photo: boy, with homework by wwworks
Homeschooling Statistics: Should Government Regulate Homeschools?
0Homeschooling is not for the faint hearted, and most homeschool parents take it very seriously. That’s why when the question of government regulation comes up, homeschoolers’ feathers get more than a little ruffled. Depending on the state, government regulation of homeschools can be low, medium or high. But does higher regulation automatically produce better results? Check out the results for yourself:
Homeschooling Statistics: Should Parents Have Teaching Certificates?
1“Do you need any qualifications to homeschool your children?” That’s one of the first questions that homeschoolers hear when someone finds out that they’re educating their children at home. And while individual states have different rules concerning this, the question illuminates a common belief—and possible fear—that correct teaching can only be accomplished by trained professionals. That’s why it’s comforting to know that homeschooling’s success is not dependent on parents’ education levels. Just look at the following statistics:
Review: The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith
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As personal as homeschooling is, the method of unschooling is even more so. Unschooling families vary widely in their approach. Some use a few select curriculums for a few select subject; others use none. This makes writing on the subject of unschooling difficult. I know. I’ve read several books about it, and most have difficulty putting down on paper exactly how to use the method. The Unschooling Handbook : How to Use the Whole World As Your Child’s Classroom
Author Mary Griffith takes on the subject of unschooling in a very relaxed, open-minded way. She introduces the subjects in chapters like “TV or Not TV,” “How Can You Tell They’re Learning?,” “Reading and Writing,” “Math and Problem Solving,” “Changes As Kids Grow Older,” etc. and then lets each unfold with several examples from unschooling families.
For the person who already leans toward the unschooling method of homeschooling, this will feel natural, but to the person wanting to understand exactly what do to, it comes across as vague. Griffith uses several examples of families to illustrate the unschooling method, but the examples are so different that it’s hard to know which are effective and which aren’t. And some really left me questioning the method all together. For example, one parent said:
“We have no restrictions on television watching… I don’t feel there is any point to restricting their viewing. I want them to learn to self-regulate, not be dependent on me to tell them what they should do. Also, it would be antithetical to my unschooling philosophy to prescribe or proscribe any source of information.”
Another said, “I think the time to step in and help is when we’re asked for help. We [the parents] might suggest that this would be a good time to work on a particular subject that we think they’ll need, but we can only suggest; they are free to refuse (and frequently do!). I think that to have a good, respectful relationship with our teens we need to be sensitive to their right to choose what they are learning and how they want to pursue it.”
That kind of laissez-faire approach made me uncomfortable, but I admit that this may very well be my inexperience with this method showing. I would have liked to see more in the way of statistics and research to support the method’s effectiveness. Instead, the attitude displayed in the book is “trust us, it works.”
Other parts of the book encouraged me. Griffith’s sidebars “An Unschooling Week One, Two and Three” gave the best insight into how unschooling works. They allowed the reader to see what a typical unschooling week looks like for three different students, and they showed how subjects naturally flow together, which is a big part of the unschooling method.
My favorite parts of the book were the resource guides at the end of each chapter. Because unschooling doesn’t often include curriculum, these were mainly real life examples—books, videos, websites and other tools. Those alone make The Unschooling Handbook useful and are great resources that anyone could use to enhance their homeschool.
However, if you want to better understand the philosophy of unschooling, you would do better to go back to the beginning to Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book of Homeschooling
Yes, my review of The Unschooling Handbook is mixed. But then like I said, homeschooling is personal. As with any book, it’s useful to take what works for you and discard what doesn’t. That’s what I took away from this book. I’ll use some of the suggested resources and continue to ponder many of the family examples. I’ll incorporate what fits with our family’s personality and ignore the rest.
If you have read The Unschooling Handbook and found it helpful to your homeschool, please leave a comment and let me know what you gleaned and how it affected you. I would love to dialogue about this method and this book. Happy homeschooling!
Review: Homeschooling for Excellence by David and Micki Colfax
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I just finished Homeschooling for Excellence